Financial Stability is Mental Health: The Series- Part 1
Financial stability is mental health. Yes, I said it and I’ll say it again. Financial. Stability. Is. Mental. Health. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about how depression and anxiety are diseases but I sometimes worry that by emphasizing this it makes it seem like they are completely out of our control.
The fact is, for a lot of folks their depression is caused by circumstance. Meaning, they first became depressed when they lost their jobs, were evicted from their homes, or filed for bankruptcy. And I know for a lot of folks out there, financial insecurity is one of the factors making and/or keeping them depressed.
Nobody can deny that money is one of the greatest stressors in our lives. And yes, it’s true that income inequality, the fact that CEO’s make exponentially more money than the lowest paid in their companies, racism, and the whole capitalist system is to blame.
However, I know that many of us have fallen into the mindset that because of those factors financial stability is just not attainable or that there’s nothing we can do to gain control of our financial circumstances. So while I am not going to sit here and tell you to stop buying Starbucks and avocado toast and your financial woes will be solved, I am going to tell you is that all hope is not lost.
Lack of control contributes to stress and depression. Thus, the belief system that you and many of us have created that our financial problems are completely out of our control is likely helping to keep you depressed. So even the act of trying to take back some control of your finances might be enough to help relieve a bit of your depression or a bit of stress over money.
So where to start?
One resource I’d like to link before we get started is investopedia.com. While the name suggests it’s about investing, it’s actually a great tool for anything pertaining to finances. If any term ever comes up and you want to know what it means or dig deeper into the concept, go to their website and search the term. I guarantee you there’ll be at least one article about it.
One more note. Each section title has an article linked to it that I found particularly helpful in educating myself on the topic. So click the links for further reading!
Now, let’s get to it.
End the Stigma
Before going any further, I’d like to highlight Tammy Lally’s Money Shame: The Silent Killer. If you gain only one thing from this post, I hope it’s this Ted Talk. The shame around money runs so deep that most of us never talk about money with anyone. Most of us go to our closest friends about all of our stressors, telling them our deepest, darkest secrets. All of them except money. We are so steeped in shame, our self-worth wrapped up so tightly in it, that we can’t divulge our money problems even to those who love and support us most. Tammy Lally’s Ted Talk is great for this because she talks about gaining the courage to talk about your financial problems and also how to listen to your loved ones who come to you with financial problems.
Some researchers say that money is the number one reason for divorce. My partner and I, though not married, almost hit that breaking point fairly early on in our relationship. We had never talked about money at any major capacity until I had to admit that I had less than $1,000 in my bank account and was losing money every month.
The beautiful thing about that very difficult and vulnerable conversation was that it brought our relationship to a whole new level. First off, I had someone I could talk to about my money concerns. Not only was it a way to destress and receive validation in my struggles, I had a teammate to help me take on my financial problems. When you have your best friend in your corner, the prospect of tackling debt or bankruptcy or any number of financial problems feels infinitely more attainable.
When you release your shame surrounding money, you open yourself up to ways to solve your money problems and will also be able to be there for your loved ones who are suffering from it themselves. My SO was able to hear me out and listen to my problems because he didn’t carry any shame about money which also meant he carried no judgment towards my own money problems. And when I aired out my shame to him, it put me in the proper mental state to be open to receiving his help and advice.
Now, my friends and I, we all talk about money. Our personal philosophies, how we’re investing, ways to save, and just sharing our knowledge. It doesn’t come from a place of trying to show off status or comparing ourselves, it comes from wanting to learn and helping each other learn. We laugh about money. We cry about it. We vent about it. But we’re able to do it together which makes it all so much less daunting.
Financial Literacy
Financial literacy is just that. It’s being money literate. It’s knowing how to manage money, understanding how compound interest works, how to budget, invest (and no, it’s not just for rich people), and various other financial management skills. Being financially literate helps define and inform your relationship with money and your mindset surrounding money, making it a great place to start your journey.
It’s not something that’s taught in schools and most of us either learn it from our parents, fall into it randomly, or never learn it at all. However, as JL Collins puts it in his book The Simple Path to Wealth, “money is the single most important tool we have for navigating this complex world we’ve created…” (1). While I could write a whole post on why we aren’t taught financial literacy in school, I’ll stick to the point which is that we must learn. Now, before I begin to overwhelm you with all these things you need to learn, I believe that financial literacy is definitely one of those things to learn as you go.
Choose one place to start and go from there. If you’re in debt, be it credit card debt, student loans, car payments, etc., I’d advise you to start your financial literacy journey there. Don’t know where to start? Choose something that is interesting or something you’ve always wanted to know and go from there!
Fear of the unknown is real and it’s debilitating. The more you know about something, the less scary, the less overwhelming it becomes. Financial stability starts with educating yourself. But don’t worry, I’m here to help.
Identify Your Values
Back in 2019 I was working at a tech company and brought my lunch from home every day. Lunch at work cost about $10-15, times five days a week, times say 48 work weeks per year, comes out to around $3600/year. For me, saving that money made me feel proud of myself, thus I found joy in packing my lunch every night. My colleague bought lunch every day. To him, the extra time spent with his kids rather than prepping lunch for the week was more valuable to him than the $3600/year in savings.
Neither of us felt guilty or stressed about our choices because they were aligned with our values. Find what is most important to you and where your money values lie. That will not only help inform your budget and spending habits but will also help mitigate stress.
If stopping at the local coffee shop every morning, saying hello to your favorite barista, and sipping on a delicious drink on the way to work is a habit that brings you joy, don’t change it! If you enjoy that drink but every time you spend that $5 you’re stressing about it, then it’s time to do some reevaluating.
If your values and spending habits are not aligned then all the budgeting and learning of financial literacy will not relieve the stress you feel around money. Dive deep into your lifestyle, what brings you joy, investigate and reflect and get honest about what makes you stressed. This will help you discover and define your values.
Be Mindful of Your Mindset
Entering into the world of financial literacy may also come with the realization that wait, the $30 I spent on that shirt cost over two hours worth of work! This can go one of two ways. It can be enlightening and motivating or it can be depressing. For some it might be, wow I love this shirt so much that I would’ve worked all day to have it! I’ve been needing a nice collared shirt so next time I need to wear a collared shirt I won’t be stressed out that I don’t have one I like. That just means I need to save somewhere else and I’m okay with that.
For me, it was depressing. I immediately fell into the mindset that I can’t afford anything which led to even more stress. I would go out for drinks with friends and be stressed that the $13 drink was literally an hour’s worth of work (yes, a cocktail in SF can easily cost $13). There I was trying to have a good time with my friends and, ya know, destress, and I was actually getting more stressed because of the amount of money I was spending.
This is where knowing your values comes into play. Knowing your values will help regulate stress. No, Chelsea. I save my money so that I can go out and buy drinks with friends. Or maybe it’s more of a compromise. I can enjoy time out with my friends and not stress about money by buying a soda instead. (Personally, I love root beer more than any alcoholic drink I’ve ever had so it’s actually a win-win.) I set aside the norm that we’re at a bar therefore I must buy alcohol and got something I enjoyed more and didn’t have to stress about the money spent on it.
I value having time and the money to spend doing things I enjoy with the people I love. Knowing my values means I have no guilt spending money doing those specific things because I’m spending on things that are important to me.
Like any mental health practice, it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice and time. But learning how to regulate your mindset with money is going to help relieve a lot of stress.
Final Thoughts
We have the power to educate ourselves and can learn to take back control of our financial situations, but it really does begin with mindset. Releasing your shame will not be easy and will not happen overnight, but discovering your values and educating yourself on money will help get you there.
Understanding money is not just something for rich people and it is not nearly as complicated as we have been led to believe. You are smart and you are capable. Don’t let feelings of scarcity hold you back. Financial stability is mental health so start your journey to financial stability today. It is an empowering path, my friends. It truly is.
Check back in for Part 2 where I discuss why saving is important and how to start saving!
