How I Get Myself to Exercise When I’m Depressed

To be honest, these past six or so weeks I have felt really depressed and haven’t known how to help myself. I found myself slipping into a downward spiral that left me struggling with insomnia, grumpy and irritable, little motivation to do anything, and finding no joy in most everything. Then my friend invited me to go running with her and I grudgingly agreed. I didn’t want to go running and I had already convinced myself it would be terrible before we even started. Unsurprisingly, I had a great time and felt completely uplifted after. My mood had lightened, I was motivated to shower, and I even did a little writing. I realized that I hadn’t exercised in over a month even though I know that I need to exercise in order to maintain my mental health.

Running with my friend reminded me that I love running, I always feel happy and motivated after, and that it’s a necessary part of my mental health. It was the boost I needed to get myself moving towards a more regular workout schedule. Since then I’ve continued running and exercising fairly regularly but I still struggle to get motivated, especially on days when my mood is low.

Anyone who has ever been depressed has undoubtedly been told that exercise is crucial for managing depression. And anyone who has ever been depressed also knows how hard it is to exercise when you’re depressed; we know that it’s good for us yet it’s one of the hardest things to get motivated to do. So the big question is, how do we get ourselves to exercise when we’re depressed?

Over the years, I have found four key elements that have helped get me motivated enough to exercise even on my lowest days. 1.) I convinced myself that exercise is vital to treating my depression by learning what exercise actually does to the brain. 2.) I changed my relationship with exercise so that I’m exercising solely for my mental health. 3.) I redefined what “exercise” means to me. 4.) I remember to be kind to myself about exercise.

What Exercise Does to Your Brain

Have you ever had a workout session, run, bike ride, or whatever your favorite form of exercise is, and felt glorious afterwards? You felt like you could accomplish anything. All of a sudden the scenery around you was beautiful, the colors seemed more vibrant and the birds singing made you feel at peace. You felt ready to take on the rest of the day and motivated to do it. For that brief period after you exercised, things didn’t seem so bad. That, my friends, is the power of exercise.

Exercise does so many phenomenal things for your brain, so let’s cover a few of them now. I’m not a doctor and even after all these years, I still only have a small grasp of what exercise does to the brain. For those perfectionists out there (myself included), I don’t think a full, comprehensive understanding of how the brain works and what happens in the brain when we exercise is necessary to convince yourself that it’s good for your brain. However, I have found that having a small understanding is more beneficial than simply knowing that it’s good for you. Here are a few basic points.

Alex Korb, author of The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at at Time (a great book I recommend to anyone and everyone) explains how exercise increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which he calls “steroids for your brain” (82). Essentially, BDNF strengthens your brain, making it more resistant to depression. Interestingly enough, BDNF is also increased by antidepressants.

Exercise can also increase serotonin activity and stimulate the serotonin system in the brain. I’ve written about serotonin before but in the most simplest terms, serotonin helps improve mood and motivation. Norepineprhine helps with focus and concentration and is another neurotransmitter that is increased by exercise. Dopamine helps with feelings of pleasure as well as decision making and is also boosted by exercise. And, of course, there’s endorphins. Endorphins have been attributed to improvement in mood and reducing pain. All of these things that are happening in your brain during and after exercise are things that antidepressants also try to accomplish.

In order to get myself to exercise, I had to fully believe that exercise is good for my brain. For some folks, the information I provided above will be enough and for others, not. If you’re in the latter group, to which I was too, then I recommend doing a bit more research. Find the information that has you 100% believing in the power of exercise. Once you’ve found that information, hold onto it. Print it out and post it on your wall. Come back to it when you are struggling to get motivated to exercise.

Change Your Relationship With Exercise

Changing my relationship with exercise was the hardest part for me. I’ve struggled with body image issues since I was a teenager and I used to only view exercise as a means to make my body look “better.” That approach made exercise a truly negative experience. I hated exercising but I forced myself to do it because I had convinced myself that once my body looked a certain way, I’d finally be enough. After I completed a work out I’d be looking back on it and gauging how hard I worked. If I didn’t burn enough calories according to the count on the treadmill, I told myself I was a failure. If I didn’t sweat enough, I felt like a failure. If I didn’t work out long enough or didn’t deem my workout “hard enough” then I felt like a failure. I had convinced myself that if I didn’t work hard enough, I would never get the body I wanted, and thus I’d never be enough. That relationship with exercise was not only negative, but unhealthy and unsustainable.

I continue to struggle with body image problems and I know it’s something I need to work on, but I was still able to change my relationship with exercise. My motto with exercise is now very simple: I exercise for my mental health. I have other reasons that I like to exercise, but at it’s core, I exercise for my mental health. When all else fails, repeat to yourself I exercise for my mental health. In changing your relationship with exercise you are essentially answering the question of why do you exercise; you’re changing the why. Of course, it sounds simple in theory, but in practice, it takes time, patience, and love.

Gaining a positive relationship with exercise came in two parts. The first was when I decided that I exercise for my mental health and not for how it makes my body look. The second was finding a form of exercise that I actually enjoy. I’ve tried kickboxing, dancing, biking, hiking, soccer, climbing, and plenty of various YouTube videos. Then I discovered trail running and backpacking.

Trail running makes me feel like a rockstar. Running up and down steep hills in dense forests with the birds singing and the smell of fresh, crisp air is my absolute favorite. And I’m not joking when I say I imagine myself as Lara Croft, running through the jungle, on a mission to beat the bad guys to the buried treasure. Hey, whatever works, right? It’s exhilarating and exciting and takes out all the seriousness of working out. And to be clear, I don’t run fast and get passed by folks walking when I’m running up those hills. I still feel like a badass all the same. Backpacking in itself is a form of exercise but it takes planning and is not something I can just pick up and do whenever I feel like it. However, it has provided great motivation to exercise because it made my workouts goal oriented. When I work out, it is with the motivation to get stronger for backpacking. Some of the most gorgeous places I wanted to go backpacking were over 10 mile hikes. I’d exercise with the purpose of getting stronger so I’d make it to that final destination.

Redefine "Exercise"

The great thing about exercising for your mental health is that anything that gets you moving and active counts as exercise. Exercise is going to the mailbox and back, to the corner and back, around the block. It’s doing a set of two push ups, a five minute run, ten squats, or six bicep curls. It’s a short stretching or yoga session. The perfectionist in me struggled with this concept for the longest time. I would tell myself that if I’m not sweating then it’s not worth it. What good is only five minutes of exercise? Well first of all, anything you accomplish while depressed is wonderful and worthy of celebration. And I say that with the utmost sincerity— you went from your front door to your mailbox? Fuck yeah! You put on your workout clothes, way to go! Even if you don’t make it out the door, changing your clothes and putting your shoes on is something to celebrate. Doing anything while depressed is an accomplishment so celebrate every single thing you do.

In addition, those five minutes of exercise you did today might become seven minutes tomorrow. Then seven minutes becomes ten minutes and eventually you’ve worked your way up to half an hour. Getting yourself moving, regardless of how long or how much, starts the process of making exercise habitual. Not only that but once you’re moving, you’ve just proven to yourself that you can do it. Celebrate that first time you make moves with the intention of exercising, lovingly tell yourself to keep it up, and maybe next time you’ll exercise for even longer. Keep in mind that like any type of progress, some days will be harder than others and that this journey is nonlinear. You might have days where you can workout for an hour and others when you just barely make it to five minutes. Both of those are valid and worthy of celebrating.

Be Kind to Yourself

As always, you must remember to be kind to yourself. You can be your most powerful ally or your worst enemy when it comes to exercise. Some days I’ll wake up with the thought, oh no, today I’m scheduled to exercise and I dread my planned workout for the rest of the day. That’s why I love to have a mantra. I have a list of mantras for those days when for whatever reason I don’t want to exercise. My first go-to mantra is, of course, I exercise for my mental health. You’ll find some that work best for you and maybe sometimes you need to keep repeating multiple mantras to get yourself going or to keep moving. Here are a few I love:

I exercise for my mental health
I am enough no matter what
I’m doing great
I am a rockstar
My body is amazing

Find mantras that work for you, write them down, hang them on your bathroom mirror and fridge, and ask your best friend to text or say them to you when you’re struggling.

Being kind to yourself is also remembering that you are enough and you are doing enough. Find the balance between gently pushing yourself to exercise versus beating yourself up. And remember, guilt is not a motivator. It will only worsen your relationship with exercise in the long run. Instead, find the healthy motivator that works for you. Exercise because you love your body and want to celebrate all that it can do. Exercise because you are proud of your body and all its capabilities. And most importantly, exercise for your mental health. You are worthy regardless of how much you exercise and you are always enough.

*Main photo was taken at Mono Pass out of Mosquito Flat Trailhead in Pamidu Toiyabe (Eastern Sierras), which is Nüümü territory.